It's Not What You Know, It's Who You Know

I had a brief chat with my Uncle this evening and in explaining some new ventures, this phrase came up.

I've never doubted the validity of this statement. I mean my career was jumpstarted by this very fact. I think I've always just needed to work on 1) tapping into my network and 2) being more social in order to increase my network.

I oftentimes pass up the opportunity to be out and social and who knows how many doors have been closed from my failure to mingle.

I was inspired recently by the Cole Haan #dontgohome campaign. On the trains here in New York, there is a series of ads with sayings like, "No good story ever started, 'It was cold, so I stayed inside...'" And my personal favorite, "You didn't move to NYC to stay home."

It made me think. I've always been one to tell people that my New York experience is not permanent, yet here I was forgetting that there's been this imaginary clock ticking away this entire time.

It brings to question whether I'm fully utilizing the city for all that it has to offer. I think of how when people come to visit they jam-pack their 3-4 day trips full of activities because they never know if or when they will come back. Whereas, here I am taking the fact that I live in this city for granted when just like them my stay is not intended to be permanent.

Ive always wondered how people from New York can be anything less than great. This city is full of untapped possibility and an endless flow of resources. My degree of separation from all the people I've ever wanted to meet or work with has literally gone down to 2 degrees, in some cases 1.

Yet, I fall victim to this never ending pattern of complacency and speak mediocrity on myself--convincing myself that I'm not where I need to be to close the gap on that 1-2% of separation.

As stated in the subject, it's not what you know it who you know and I need to craft a plan to get out of my own way and become the person I set out to be when moving here.

Jill Scott's "Golden" randomly began playing while I was writing this. The signs are everywhere. It's my season.

The Little Things In Life

New York living has definitely fostered within me an appreciation for the "little things" in life.

1. Doing Laundry 
To think, I would throw a fit when my mom would ask me to carry my dirty clothes from my bedroom to the laundry room.  Today, I would wash the laundry of someone other than my own, if doing so would allow me to trade in a three minute walk, train ride, calloused hands, and $12 dollars just to complete my linens and 1 load of clothes.

2. A Seat During Transit 
I used to complain having to travel 30 minutes to visit my friends who lived across town. Now, it takes 15-20 just to meet up with some 2 avenues over and around the corner. Not only that, but at least I had a seat on my previous 30 minute commute. Whereas now, I have to play the role of a gentleman and stand the entire trip because people in New York obviously weren't taught to give up their seat for the elderly, disabled, or women & children.

3. Grocery Shopping 
My mom dragging me to the grocery store was miserable. Since it was just her & I, outside of Publix trips (someone accompanies you to the car), I complained 6/10 times about having to load and unload the car.

Oh, how I wish that was all I had to do nowadays. Trips to the store now entail me figuring out how to rig a shopping cart to go outside of the radius before the wheels lock up. In the case I have money to blow - hustle my way into a cheaper cab fare. If not, a repeat of my public transit struggle - take into consideration however far I had to travel to get there. Then, once I arrive at my destination, not only do I have to unload a car (or walk 4-5 blocks from the train). I am also tasked with making multiple trips up and down two flights of stairs.

4. Chipping In On Gas 
This could start the biggest of arguments! Don't let one of your friends ask you for $5 to travel with her/him all the way across town to a friend's house to pregame, then downtown to go to the club, the back across town to Waffle House, then to drop you back to your house.

It costs me $40 alone just to get from midtown Manhattan to where I stay in Brooklyn. It's roughly $20 just to travel 15 minutes within Brooklyn. So, if someone were to ask me to "chip in"to go somewhere...I'd probably tip them and pay their cover for the club.

5. Going To The Club
The DJ could play all but one of the songs I wanted to hear (probably some random track from whatever mixtape I'd been listening to) and it would put a damper on my whole night. Now, I'm lucky to hear a song by someone from the South period! Not to mention, when they do play snippets of southern classics (for example: Back That A** Up), they switch the song before the best verse (using the same example, Wayne's verse) comes on. Yet, they can play the entire Junior Mafia album from start to finish including the interludes.

I used to be annoyed at guys running up on me to dance. Now, not only do they not dance at all, but they creepily lurk until you finally sense an eerie presence and look in their direction.

Having to pay a cover to get into some place is one thing, but now I get hit with mandatory coat checks --because clearly I control the weather and decided to make it 13 degrees below zero outside.

These are just a few examples of the joys of living in New York City. All I’m saying is, the grass isn’t necessarily always greener.

Winter Storm Athena Says Hello

This is what greeted me on my way home from work today. I'm a Floridian, so snow is only pretty after it's fallen and when I'm indoors. I can't say I'm too excited about this recent change in weather. Not to mention, I haven't replenished my emergency food kit since the last storm. Let's hope this passes in the night and by morning I'm faced with some normalcy. 

Rented: My Apartment Hunt Story

I've always loved brownstones and felt they embodied what NYC living was all about.

When starting the journey to find my own place, I began where it all started for me ---in Harlem. I figured something on the island of Manhattan would better serve me since I am a busy professional and spend the majority of my time there anyway.

I'd been looking for a few months, but couldn't find anything in my budget, and what I did find was not to my standards. One day, after spending an entire day with my broker based in Harlem and coming up empty. I went home and decided to take matters into my own hands. I came across an online listing for a gut renovated 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath located in a three story brownstone. I reached out to the broker over the listing and she surprisingly was doing an open house later that afternoon. Since the unit was located close to where I was currently staying I went the few blocks up to the open house. I immediately fell in love with the place and two weeks later, I had the keys.

My Apartment Journey

I started my journey on September 18th, 2010 by couch surfing with various friends in UES and Washington Heights for about two months. I landed in Harlem, with a teeny-tiny room in a 3-bedroom apartment with two girls I found on Facebook Marketplace. My room was only barely big enough for a full sized bed. Needless to say, that didn't work out so well --a mix between the lack of greenery and the overwhelming claustrophobia my room induced.

Roughly 11 months later, after countless weekend excursions to "the greener side," I moved into a 3-bedroom brownstone apartment with non-strangers in the Bed-Stuy neighborhood of Brooklyn. To say I was overjoyed would be an understatement. Granted, I wasn't off the best train line in Bed-Stuy (A/C) or surrounded by the parks and food that neighborhoods like Clinton Hill or Fort Greene offered. But, my rent was 60% cheaper, my room had doubled in size, and I had always wanted to live in a brownstone!

However, living with other people took a toll on me and caused the claustrophobic feeling to return (in a different sense) + their lack of enthusiasm for the place dampened the overall experience. So, again...this didn't work out and I found myself in need of housing yet again.

One year later, on August 15th, 2012, I made the second biggest transition in my life...moving into my very own apartment!

I'd decided long before the conversation occurred, with my then roommates, that I'd be looking to live on my own. For those that live in New York, you understand how big of an undertaking this is. Considering I don't spend my days sitting in a glass enclosed office making six figures (and neither do any of my relatives), the hunt for a quality place with my long list of particulars was indeed a hunt.

Fast forward, fate brought me upon an amazing broker, awesome landlords and the most adorable brownstone 1-bedroom unit only two train stops from my last place! I was able to retain all of the things that I loved about my old place, while gaining more than double the space.

Which only means one thing...tons of decorating!