Philanthropic Obligation?

As a piggy back to my post the other day titled, Everyone Feels Entitled To Respect These Days...

I had a random thought today about how people feel entitled to hand outs from big corporations. There's always this discussion around businesses that don't do enough for the communities they serve and I just thought...in what Better Business Bureau handbook does it say companies have to give x% of their revenue to a charitable organization? My thought would be that taxes cover their debt to society.

Now, before I get hate mail--- as touched upon in my Pay It Forward post, there should be some internal feeling of obligation or duty to serve your community. However, this should not be mandated and people should not judge companies based on what they do outside of their actual purpose.

Charity (n): The practice of charity means the voluntary giving of help to those in need who are not related to the giver. Wikipedia

The keyword being "voluntary." Unless a businesses is in the business of charity. It is not their job to give back to their community. It's nice. But, if you're in the business of selling cars...it's your business to sell cars, not get behind the cause for drunk driving (for example). Forcing someone, or a company in this case, to donate takes away the sincerity of the act.

I don't really have an extensive opinion on the matter, at least not one that I care to share. This has just been something that's been bothering me lately. I feel that businesses are often times held to this moral compass and maybe it's just added confusion that comes from this trend of humanizing brands.

/rant

It's Not What You Know, It's Who You Know

I had a brief chat with my Uncle this evening and in explaining some new ventures, this phrase came up.

I've never doubted the validity of this statement. I mean my career was jumpstarted by this very fact. I think I've always just needed to work on 1) tapping into my network and 2) being more social in order to increase my network.

I oftentimes pass up the opportunity to be out and social and who knows how many doors have been closed from my failure to mingle.

I was inspired recently by the Cole Haan #dontgohome campaign. On the trains here in New York, there is a series of ads with sayings like, "No good story ever started, 'It was cold, so I stayed inside...'" And my personal favorite, "You didn't move to NYC to stay home."

It made me think. I've always been one to tell people that my New York experience is not permanent, yet here I was forgetting that there's been this imaginary clock ticking away this entire time.

It brings to question whether I'm fully utilizing the city for all that it has to offer. I think of how when people come to visit they jam-pack their 3-4 day trips full of activities because they never know if or when they will come back. Whereas, here I am taking the fact that I live in this city for granted when just like them my stay is not intended to be permanent.

Ive always wondered how people from New York can be anything less than great. This city is full of untapped possibility and an endless flow of resources. My degree of separation from all the people I've ever wanted to meet or work with has literally gone down to 2 degrees, in some cases 1.

Yet, I fall victim to this never ending pattern of complacency and speak mediocrity on myself--convincing myself that I'm not where I need to be to close the gap on that 1-2% of separation.

As stated in the subject, it's not what you know it who you know and I need to craft a plan to get out of my own way and become the person I set out to be when moving here.

Jill Scott's "Golden" randomly began playing while I was writing this. The signs are everywhere. It's my season.

The Little Things In Life

New York living has definitely fostered within me an appreciation for the "little things" in life.

1. Doing Laundry 
To think, I would throw a fit when my mom would ask me to carry my dirty clothes from my bedroom to the laundry room.  Today, I would wash the laundry of someone other than my own, if doing so would allow me to trade in a three minute walk, train ride, calloused hands, and $12 dollars just to complete my linens and 1 load of clothes.

2. A Seat During Transit 
I used to complain having to travel 30 minutes to visit my friends who lived across town. Now, it takes 15-20 just to meet up with some 2 avenues over and around the corner. Not only that, but at least I had a seat on my previous 30 minute commute. Whereas now, I have to play the role of a gentleman and stand the entire trip because people in New York obviously weren't taught to give up their seat for the elderly, disabled, or women & children.

3. Grocery Shopping 
My mom dragging me to the grocery store was miserable. Since it was just her & I, outside of Publix trips (someone accompanies you to the car), I complained 6/10 times about having to load and unload the car.

Oh, how I wish that was all I had to do nowadays. Trips to the store now entail me figuring out how to rig a shopping cart to go outside of the radius before the wheels lock up. In the case I have money to blow - hustle my way into a cheaper cab fare. If not, a repeat of my public transit struggle - take into consideration however far I had to travel to get there. Then, once I arrive at my destination, not only do I have to unload a car (or walk 4-5 blocks from the train). I am also tasked with making multiple trips up and down two flights of stairs.

4. Chipping In On Gas 
This could start the biggest of arguments! Don't let one of your friends ask you for $5 to travel with her/him all the way across town to a friend's house to pregame, then downtown to go to the club, the back across town to Waffle House, then to drop you back to your house.

It costs me $40 alone just to get from midtown Manhattan to where I stay in Brooklyn. It's roughly $20 just to travel 15 minutes within Brooklyn. So, if someone were to ask me to "chip in"to go somewhere...I'd probably tip them and pay their cover for the club.

5. Going To The Club
The DJ could play all but one of the songs I wanted to hear (probably some random track from whatever mixtape I'd been listening to) and it would put a damper on my whole night. Now, I'm lucky to hear a song by someone from the South period! Not to mention, when they do play snippets of southern classics (for example: Back That A** Up), they switch the song before the best verse (using the same example, Wayne's verse) comes on. Yet, they can play the entire Junior Mafia album from start to finish including the interludes.

I used to be annoyed at guys running up on me to dance. Now, not only do they not dance at all, but they creepily lurk until you finally sense an eerie presence and look in their direction.

Having to pay a cover to get into some place is one thing, but now I get hit with mandatory coat checks --because clearly I control the weather and decided to make it 13 degrees below zero outside.

These are just a few examples of the joys of living in New York City. All I’m saying is, the grass isn’t necessarily always greener.

A True Visionary Understands The Concept of Progression

(or maybe you're just irrelevant?)

Nothing annoys me more than when I hear someone, especially other artists, say how "music is falling off" or that "hip hop" is dead.

Hip Hop began as this progressive art form. It was about breaking the boundaries of traditional music and tapping into in a range of influences. Yet, people have allowed the earlier forms of Hip Hop to dictate what the sound is and how it should remain throughout its existence. Progressive by definition means to "develop gradually or in stages." Why can't where we are with Hip Hop just be the next evolution?

This semi-rant spawned from a few articles I've been reading around people's reactions to the 2012 Soul Train Awards. It's the age old debate of how music just isn't what it used to be. How people aren't moved by what they hear like they were a decade ago. I'm sure in the 60s this is how people felt about the 70s music. As with the 80s, 90s, 00s, to now. Music, as with most art forms, is merely a reflection of the era that it's in. The 70s was about love, peace and harmony. Skipping ahead to the 90s/00s where it was a party era.

If you think about it, within black culture, the 90s/00s was probably the first generation of black people to have millionaires sprouting up left and right. The music of that time just highlights the story of having new money and partying and just balling out of control because you can!

Now, there's this continually growing complaint that music is too violent and further promotes black on black violence. But, sadly that's a reality that's faced by a large percentage of the black population. Coupled with that is the high unemployment rate which I'm sure has resulted in an increased number of "trappers." So, instead of looking at it as a glamorization of a lifestyle. Why not view it as a documentation of an era?

Music has always had that ability to trigger memories of a place and time in our lives. Why? Because it represents a former state of mind or reflects a time and point in our lives.

But, to go back to how music is progressive.

I believe people undervalue the contribution that "Hip Hop" artists in the last 10 years have had on music. Sometimes I find myself getting caught up trying to categorize a song by a rapper into a specific genre. Just this afternoon, I moved "Shot For Me" by Drake to my R&B channel on Pandora.

This generation of artists has seamlessly blended what was once a siloed genre into the mainstream. It's pop, it's r&b, it's rap, rock, techno. What this genre now represents is our society. One that's no longer black or white, but a melting pot. So, not only are today's artist more versatile in some regard, they're also revolutionary.

New Age Serenity Prayer?

Let me start by saying that I've been intending to create this post for some time. However, for no reason other than my own laziness, I just never got around to it.

So, even though the song is beyond outdated, my thought still seems valid...so let's get into it.

"So in conclusion, we all seem to stumble planning our own demise. Forgetting the bigger picture and making it wallet sized. So to what's important in my life, I apologize. I promise to stay faithful, focused and sanctified. We all get distracted. The question is would you bounce back or bounce backwards? Would you not know how to act or take action? It’s just a part of life and if your vision’s impaired, you probably lose it all tonight." 

"Growing Apart (To Get Closer)" - Kendrick Lamar

This is a song that describes the divide between two people and one party's inability to understand why they are growing apart rather than closer. In true Kendrick storytelling fashion, he takes a step back and evaluates their entire relationship and how he's been feeling in order to explain the divide.

He touches on his struggle to remain motivated within personal and professional aspects of his life. This leads him to question every aspect of his life and triggers the feelings he's having that are ultimately resulting in their growing separation.

Similar to myself, after letting out his feelings, he's able to properly analyze the reason behind his behavior.

The moral of the story speaks to how as people we often times get in our own way and sometimes out of fear of the unknown unintentionally plot our own demise. After convincing ourselves that a situation can go nowhere but down, we "forget the bigger picture and make it wallet sized." 

Within Kendrick's example, he even went as far as questioning his beliefs and whether living according to those principles was even worth it if "that place called Heaven is unfair to me." Yet, after being able to take a step back and really look at the situation he was able to see the error in his judgement. "So to what's important in my life, I apologize. I promise to stay faithful, focused, and sanctified."

I make the comparison to the Serenity Prayer, because similarly it serves as a spiritual tool to help you get back on track when life throws challenges your way. It acknowledges the fact that we're all human, therefore capable of falling victim to making mistakes.

The difference between Kendrick's verse and the Serenity Prayer is that Kendrick leaves room for self-reflection. He poses questions that allow you to digest the words that he's saying and makes it up to you to make the decision in your life to make a difference. "The question is would you bounce back or bounce backwards? Would you not know how to act or take action?"


Stay tuned for a future post covering my admiration for Kendrick Lamar and other artists.

Everyone Feels Entitled To Respect These Days...

Webster defines it as, "A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements." Wikipedia says that, "Respect can be a specific feeling of regard for the actual qualities of the one respected."

With either definition, respect is defined as something that should be only given to the deserving.

Yet, sometimes people confuse the fact that although something should be acknowledged---it doesn't mean it's necessarily worthy of respect.

In many facets of my life, I am labeled a harsh critic. This is applied to my opinions on artists, fashion sense, beauty, professional titles, music, people's intelligence... the list continues.

For me, I need to be overly impressed or severly enlighted in order for someone to earn my respect. I am not one to loosely throw compliments. I feel that by doing so, it waters down the validity of future compliments I chose to bestow upon others. Not only does that occur, but it also dampens the value of those actually deserving.

This is not to say, that I do not acknowlege things... Yet, I learned very early in life that every thought does not need to be spoken or is worthy of a verbal declaration.

I'm often in situations where someone asks my opinion on a how a celebrity or random passerby is dressed, looks, etc. My response is normally "they're alight." If I see a girl with a nice chambray shirt, I might acknowledge it and think, "oh, that's a nice shirt." But unless she also has nice pants, shoes, and accessories...it's not quite worth the declaration.

People like to call that harsh, but what would I look like complimenting every girl that passed by in a chambray shirt?

Webster defines a compliment as, "A polite expression of praise or admiration." Praise and Admiration. Are those things not similar to respect in the regard that the recipient needs to be deserving and exert some exemplary characteristic that makes them worthy of such?

Not sure how it works with everyone else...but no length of time, position, title, status, or otherwise guarantees someone a shoe-in for my respect.

Respect is earned, not given. In addition to that, every acknowledgement does not deserve declaration.

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That!

I remember seeing him in the halls and feeling like God had opened the gates of Heaven to allow me to hear the song that the angels sang in his honor. There would be instances when I'd see this guy and my breath would literally catch in my throat. I would be torn between wanting to run and hide from this torturous sensation and tolerating it, if that meant that I'd be able to marvel at the beauty that was him.

The oddest thing is that as much confusion and uncertainty these feelings brought, I welcomed them. It could only be described as an odd form of adrenaline that ensued by being in the same space as this guy. I recall constantly seeking ways to experience this euphoria---only to blank and lose any sense I had when actually presented with the opportunity to speak to him. My high school crush.

But, at twenty four almost twenty five...ain't nobody got time for that! For real. This awkward emotional exchange of "chemistry" that as adults we typically chalk up as sexual tension. Yet, even though I'm more self assured, bolder (okay, that may be a lie), and knowing as my adult self. This adolescent feeling has found me once again. Here I am with this unwarranted urge to smile and forgetting how to maintain my sense of self when I'm in his presence. It's like a cruel self infliction of torture that comes from marveling at the existence of this person.

The thing about crushes at my age is that they're worthless. It's above and beyond the normal bodily reaction we get to alert us of our attraction to another human being. It becomes an all too encompassing and slightly obsessive frame of mind.

Ain't nobody got time for that!

Pay It Forward

The other day, I found myself attempting to explain to a coworker the duty African Americans feel to their community. While explaining this, I noticed that this goes back to earlier in African American history with the notion of "each one teach one." During the era of slavery, when African Americans lacked access to higher education, it became the duty of those with that access to share their learnings with those without. The Wikipedia definition for those who don't believe me:

This phrase originated in the United States during slavery, when Africans and African Americans were denied education, including learning to read. Many, if not most slaves were kept in a state of ignorance about anything beyond their immediate circumstances which were under control of owners, the law makers and the authorities. When a slave learned or was taught to read, it became their duty to teach someone else, spawning the phrase "Each one teach one." via

In todays time, we are all under the impression that everyone has equal access. However, I believe the above still holds true (in some capacity) and there are people who fall victim to their environments and get stuck in a cycle due to a lack of knowledge based on their circumstance. This is not to say, that everyone is at that high of a disadvantage. Sometimes, it could be something as small as a smaller black business being a tad less business savvy or some recent college graduate that doesn't have the network needed to make it to the next level.

Instinctually, I've always felt it was my duty to reach back and help people in whatever capacity I could. This should not be misconstrued to mean that people should not work to advance themselves. But, I can honestly say if it weren't for other minorities in my life reaching back to help me, I would not have been afforded nearly as many opprtunities as I have.

Basically, this goes back to the media and the notion of perception. Pictures are either painted of black people needing handouts or of black people making it by overcoming all barriers and "making it out". The perception is that people make it on their own and that we shouldn't need other people to acheive our successes.

What happens is the crabs in a bucket mentality of people fighting to make it out of a situation by fighting against one another. Some people seemingly lack the understanding of the community effort it takes to make it.

I say all of this to say. We live in a time, where my generation (20s and under), believe that race is no longer a factor. We are misled by that fact that we aren't oppressed and have access to education to mean that we also able to make it without assistance or mentorship. I'm constantly baffled by the lack of initiative by older black professionals to lend guidance. It's as though people believe that you can ignore or neglect your community and live this newfound "American Dream." I don't know what makes me different, but until the majority of African Americans are where they need to be in society, I will forever feel an obligation to my community.

We live in such a fast paced society. It amazes me that monumental things that occur in history can be forgotten over the course of a few years. However, you can not convince me (even with the election of a black President) that a nation that was segregated one generation ago (in my Mom's lifetime!) has fully transitioned and that all people are afforded the same opportunities. No, not without the power of community.

Employing Your Passions

I have a lot of conversations with myself (via writing, of course) involving whether I'm really doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

I pacify myself with saying I need to be doing what I'm doing in order to build experience and have proof as to why I'm capable of x,y,z. Yet, I'm still left with this feeling of being incomplete.

My generation has been fed this notion that your job is supposed to be something you would do for free. We're encourage to be artists and writers and that we can live our passions out through our professions. Yet, what I've realized is that this has bred a lot of confusion and mixed feelings about my situation. It also leaves me measuring what I do professionally as my contribution to this world.

After recently fully digesting the knowledge that advertising is just a shift in perception not necessarily quality of life. I'm feeling quite shitty about this "contribution" I'm making.

On the flip side, this brings me back to my initial reason for entertaining the current segment of the field that I'm in---multicultural. In which, I've been of the belief that I can use this logic of altering brand perceptions into also altering perceptions of people of color within media.

If I've learned only one thing, it's been that advertising drives every form of media that we consume. If you combine that with the fact that advertising is based on making sales and the growing multicultural population is what's growing those sales. Theoretically, this should encourage more accurate portrayals of the multicultural consumer within media. Right?

Let's bring this to African American specifically, since that's my personal passion point.

Where I'm seeing the challenge, is most traditionally African American specific properties have this outdated hierarchy system. They employ these older and out of touch professionals to speak to a generation of African Americans who grew up way differently than them. Older African Americans fail to realize that we all didn't grow up being oppressed, in overly impoverished environments, or needing someone to "have our back". However, we grew up with access to different types of people and experiences.

The limited bubble of who and what the African American experience is will continue to be the downfall of African American networks and older African American agencies. African Americans in general are always pushing to break stereotypes, yet I find these properties more guilty of perpetuating them than their General Market counterparts. The oversight is that we are in an era in which you can reach people via their interests and most times that is more impactful than targeting someone based on their ethnicity.

I will feel like I've accomplished something, if I'm able to switch the limited perception people have of African Americans. We're always painted as this one-dimensional being, yet there are so many things about us beyond the associations that can be made based on the color of our skin. I find it remarkable how often I surprise people with my varied interests. Or when people realize that just because I'm black, it doesn't mean that I can pull off being the cool kid in every situation. Or that I'm deeper than rap and although it is a passion point of mine, I have a wide array of music that I like and appreciate.

Stereotypes need to be broken, true. But all I want is for people to not be surprised to find out the depth of my being. That simple.

The Double Edged Sword of Affordability

I say it over and over again...I love all things affordable! If I can sensibly cut corners on something, without forsaking quality, I'm all for it. But, on the other end, I am not against spending money on certain things that I deem worthy. Obviously, there are varying opinions on what is worth a high price tag versus what is not...so we won't get into that.

What brings about this post is the recent commercial I saw advertising Margiela for H&M.

 "Is that jacket Margiela?" I doubt Kanye thought everyone was going to now be able to respond and say, "Yes, from H&M!"

After seeing this, I could only think...in a few years what will be the purpose in investing in designer?This could be completely ignorant on my behalf, so feel free to express your opinions. But, if designers I once considered investing in like Derek Lam, Margiela, Versace, Diane von Furstenberg, Marc Jacobs, Tory Burch, etc. are now making themselves available to the masses. I'm left thinking what's the point? 

In a very childish sense, people like to be able to draw that line between the have and the have nots. One of the things that has helped to make the distinction between social classes possible has been the creation of brand names. Brand names help to define people's sense of self and showcase to the world where they fit within society. 

There are certain brands and products that people aspire to own. In a odd sense, it's a sign of having made it and to be viewed as having a certain social class. For me, that's the day I can afford a pair of Christian Louboutins and the Chanel classic handbag. Not to say either of these brands will ever be available at Target or H&M, but what if they were? It just minimizes a brand once viewed as aspirational to just another amongst a sea of shoes and handbags.

Some people can't wait to say the own something by Diane von Furstenberg (for example), no matter how minimal it may be...and now, even though what she has with Target is just a Yoga Mat, it's now made it possible for just anyone to finally own something by her. So, now when you're wearing one of these brands it's not viewed as highly...it's like, "oh, is that DVF?"... "I just bought a yoga mat by her the other day at Target."

Who wants that? I don't.